Sorry I'm not home right now--I'm currently pushing a catheter through an artificial penis.

"Sorry I'm not home right now. I'm walking
through a spiderweb, so leave a message and
I'll call you back!" Anybody remember that
song? No? Ok, fine.

Scooby: ...I just know that if I really wanted to make time for someone, I would.

Shopgirl: Scooby, we have a great time together, but I'm just really busy.

Scooby: I don't understand. I feel like you're avoiding me. I mean, when I ask you to hang out, it's like you're purposely trying to avoid me.

Shopgirl: It's not that I'm purposely trying to avoid you. You can't call me one day and just expect me to be free. When I tell you that I'm busy, I'm legitimately busy.

Scooby: What about when you're not busy?

Shopgirl: I don't know, Scooby--I don't have free time often, but when I do, I just want to be goofy and do stupid girly things.

Scooby: That's what I'm trying to figure out. I mean--why can't we do goofy stuff together?

Shopgirl: Scooby, you don't get it. You're demanding. We're not even committed to each other and you are already expecting too much from me.

Scooby: No, no--that's not true. I think you're being a little condescending.

Shopgirl: Huh? Scooby, please try to understand. I can't give you what you want. I don't have a lot of free time, so I--

Scooby: I do understand. What I don't get is why we can't together enjoy some of the little time you have.

Shopgirl: Because if anybody is going to get any of my free time, I want to savor every moment.

Scooby: Yeah, isn't that what we have?


No, this is not "Confessions of a commitment-phobe, Part Deux" (see "Confessions of a commitment-phobe"). Contrary to what my nearest and dearest might tease me of, I'm no ice princess. My refusal to commit is perfectly valid for this reason: I don't have much free time, so if I'm going to share any of my free time with anybody, I don't want to have to explain myself. In fact, I don't have time to explain myself.

Maybe this reason is a bit unreasonable for some, but I cannot imagine committing to someone who needed a one-hour explanation for fundamental principles I live by. In addition, my time is divided amongst many people. That makes men jealous. Most people I spend time with are men. That makes men even more jealous, but I can't help it if I grew up a dude in a girl's body.

The point is, it's not about making anybody jealous. It's not even about playing elusive or hard-to-get. This may be shocking to some, but not all women are looking for a boyfriend. (And please don't misconstrue the previous statement as something equivalent to "single female looking for a bedtime buddy" or lesbianism. Yes, I get this question often, if you must wonder.)

According to many men, I'm a difficult person to share a commitment with. My response? I'm inordinately busy and need a truly confident partner. That is--he's got to understand that while I don't have much time to give, the little time that we do share is time savored and undeniably appreciated. Please let go of your insecurities--my gratitude is real and obvious, if not explicit. I don't sugar coat--in fact, I don't have time to sugar coat.

So what about Scooby and me? We are just incompatible. Do I ever wonder if I'll meet my match? Often, but I'm not on a treasure hunt. Nor do I care for fool's gold.

Thank you for putting up with my ramble. I despise writing lengthy posts, but I know you were absolutely torn about my not posting for months. (Lucky you!)

Likely to celebrate Single Awareness Day 2011,
Shopgirl.


P.S. If you were wondering, I left my teaching career to learn the art of penile catheterization.

Valentine's Day for Single People

So goes another Valentine's Day--or as I have decided to call it (in accordance with all of the other single people out there)--Single Awareness Day!

I celebrated my SAD (um, purely coincidental, by the way) with wonderful friends in Santa Barbara. We drove up there Saturday morning to claim a camp site and proceeded to a 5-mile hike up a luscious green mountain. Here are some pictures from the trip:

Though this was my first Valentine's Day officially celebrated as a SAD, I must say that this was probably the most enjoyable February 14th I've ever had. Didn't have to plan any extravagant event or buy a series of presents to showcase my undying love. It was simple, quiet, and relaxing (except for the couple that was escorted off the camp site for domestic dispute).

Being single isn't as pitiful as I imagined it to be. In fact--I feel empowered being single! So when former suitors are surprised about my not having a date for Valentine's Day, I justly respond, "No, I did not have a date, Sir. And I am completely satisfied with that!"

Ok, I'm exaggerating. But I'm digging this single thing. The freedom rewards me with time to do all the things that I love but have had trouble prioritizing--i.e. reading, practicing music, running, writing silly blogs, etc. Not to mention, the freedom rewards me with time to spend on myself. Hooray for personal improvement?

Always looking up,
Shopgirl.