Another chicken vs. egg analogy

lemontea: How long does rubber cement take to dry?

Shopgirl: A few hours, tops.

lemontea: So, do you think leaving the glue to dry overnight is long enough to keep the penis in place?

Shopgirl: Oh, yeah, totally. I used to use that crap all the time.

Before you go on--no, this isn't some bizarre anatomy project or piece of abstract art here. In fact, I almost wish I were speaking about a bizarre anatomy project or "piece of art." Moreover, I wish the subject was just as or more innocent than either the former or the latter.

Unfortunately, we are referring to the vibrator that lemontea's ex-boyfriend had so lovingly molded out of his own genitalia. (I'm absolutely serious.) Of course, he saw this doohickey as a treasure befitting that of a birthday present to lemontea last year.

Shortly after he had bestowed his "gift" upon her, he broke up with her for his "lesbian" co-worker.

Shopgirl: Told you, you should've glued that thing on top of his car. Reminds me of that Teletubby.

Exhibit 1: Green Teletubby.

Shopgirl: Why do you even still have that thing?

Shoes...??? :(

lemontea: Haha, yeah. I don't know, really. I keep it tucked away in a shoe box. You know, random--but Bert called me the other day and left me voicemail about how his boyfriend Ernie had wanted to see what my ex's junk looked like.

Shopgirl: That's so weird. Did you actually bring it?

lemontea: Yeah. It's a good thing he caught me before I left.

***

lemontea's ex, whom we shall henceforth know as Ken, seemed like an unassuming, well-educated, and cerebrally-gifted intellectual. Actually, I'm understating that. He's a total geek, which was endearing about him and seemed like a trait that lemontea truly prized. Though everyone's got their secret tendencies, who would have known that Ken had that much freaky-deaky to him?

I promise this has a point. Did you ever create a list of qualities that you find ideal in a mate? Don't lie. And making even just one list still counts. It's ok, I did, too. (See Gettin' ready to check you off.)

The really funny thing is that we create these lists, thinking that once we find someone who fits all of the criteria, they are serendipitously perfect.

The problem though, is that when you meet someone who satisfies "all of the requirements," what's to guarantee that the requirements are enough to sustain the attraction?

To satisfy our curiosity, we conducted a research study at Maggiano's, subject count = 1.

Shopgirl: Do you think that people learn fondness for each other and build attraction from there on, or do you think that attraction lends itself to build fondness?

Server: I don't think you can predict whether or not you'll fall in love with someone.

Survey has it, folks--you cannot fall in love instantaneously. Some of you may agree, while some of you believe that love at first sight is possible. I liken this debate to that of the chicken or the egg. What comes first--attraction or fondness?

Or maybe you've got it all figured out. But what happens when your Barbie or Ken turns out to be one of those creepy Troll dolls with the bejeweled belly buttons?

Will probably avoid looking through any of lemontea's shoe boxes, for future reference,
Shopgirl.

Greener Grass

Although I vowed soon after college that I'd be single for the 2 year TFA committment, it was clearly broken early on. The intention behind this broken vow was to take time away from all the drama that in retrospect is so silly and not worth the lost time. But that was all lessons learned, I should hope.

For the past few months I've been working on becoming more my own person, discovering my strengths and trying to improve on weaknesses. Finding the small, subtle pleasures in the outside meanderings along the beach. Having chance meetings with strangers who offer a sliver of their life experience that is often so different from mine. Enjoying long obnoxious singing in car rides from work. Cooking and baking. Not holding myself back from goals or desires.

Despite all this and more, I hate to admit that there's been this niggling restless feeling in the back of my mind. As much as I strive to be Miss Independent, I often fall back into my old habits on wanting something more. I've felt trapped in relationships before, and it's not missed. I just want to appreciate this independence fully because goodness knows that now is the best time to do absolutely anything.

Living in LA has its perks because I have a strong network here and family. However, I'm convinced that it's not the place for me in the long term. I should be grateful that I hadn't come across a real winner of a guy here because I fall hard for people. Unfortunately I've also become much more cynical towards men in LA. I'm not saying all men are like the vapid, superficial ones I've met lately. They're just somewhere I haven't been, and I should be happy to not be more distracted. I don't want to be looking, and relationships are intimidating now, yet I can't stop wondering and waiting sometimes.

A slow learner when it comes to social situations, I at least am willing to continue striving for a happy balance between desires.

"Haven't met you yet" by Michael Buble comes to mind. What a great song!

Purple Leggings

I hadn't thought that purple leggings would have helped me make a friend on a random Sunday afternoon (2/14), but they did. The day started out slowly, after a late night of dancing in Hollywood, to a quick yoga trip mid-day. Which, by the way, is really sad to admit that I realized it was Chinese New Year with the year of the Tiger. After the yoga instructor wished us a Happy Valentine's Day/Chinese New Year, I thought, "Sh**, this is my year... I'm turning 24... already?!" I feel that I ought to make this year extra special, considering how it will be another transitional time where TFA will be phasing out and perhaps dental school in the near future if all goes well. Not to mention the start of the new decade! For all the stress that I go through daily, whether it is real or just conjured up in my neurotic mind, I've never been happier or felt more confident in my life. I've got
1. a loving and supportive family close by
2. a sweet living situation in Redondo Beach with awesome roommates
3. good health
4. a job that challenges me in every way and in doing so, helped me see my own life and the outside world more clearly

Anyway, I didn't want to sit around inside my apartment alone on a beautiful Sunday, so I finally left my house at 3 PM to go study at a coffee shop. 1 minute walking outside, I turned around and changed the outfit (again), set aside the purse and book, slung on a small backpack, hoisted my bike up the stairs from the basement, and gave a silent "wheeeee" as I petaled toward the beach. What a great decision that was!

The beach and the boardwalk was swarming with people, and it was liberating to weave in and out of the crowd at my own pace. I'm still getting used to doing things on my own, so sometimes it feels unnatural to be alone on a day that a lot of people do things together (but whatever). But it was also satisfying to feel lost in a giant crowd, anonymous yet still able to observe all the comings and goings of other people.

Right around Hermosa Pier, someone behind me said, "I love your leggings! Where did you get them?" It was a girl who looked about my age biking by herself also. One of my favorite pieces of clothing right now is that pair of bright purple leggings with giant cut outs or holes at the bottom... which looks better than it sounds. I told her where, and she said that she wanted to get them too. This was flattering, but I didn't really know what else to say so after a couple more exchanges, I said for her to have a good ride and kept going. However, she and I biked at about the same pace and were going in the same direction, for a good 2-3 minutes, and it didn't look like that would change. Although too shy in the beginning to continue the conversation, I mustered up the courage and spoke with her again. We ended up biking another 1.5 hours together before saying goodbye. We talked about careers, relationships, traveling, and life in general. She turned out to be 33 years old, though she definitely didn't look it! It was so serendipitous to have met someone so easy to talk to and who gave such interesting insight on life. We exchanged numbers and will try to meet again to go on another beach bike ride.

Lately, I've really come to enjoy and feel more comfortable with talking to people who are not just 1-2 years of my age. And it's been exciting to experience the joy of meeting new friends just about anywhere and hearing another person's perspective on anything. After a good 22 years of going from one sheltered bubble to another, it is refreshing and empowering to know that even one of the most shy girls growing up could open up and reach for her personal goals without being held back by fear of embarrassment or failure. I didn't want to be stuck being a passive, shy person all my life. Even now, it is a struggle to actively work against an instinctive behavior to step back and observe instead of doing or taking leadership. And even meeting a new friend outside seems trivial to some more outgoing types... but for me, it's a step among others that makes me feel that I'm moving towards an adulthood and identity that I want.