On Shopgirl

I'm 23 years old, going on 24 next week. I'm officially entering my mid-twenties.

Things I have done in my life that I am particularly proud of:
1. I have a career (be it short-term) that I enjoy and draw personal fulfillment from.
2. I am going back to school to pursue a dream that seemed so distant only a year ago.
3. My overbearing, conservative parents no longer think I have intentions to jeopardize my future. I might venture to say that they are even proud of me.
4. I have all the friends I've ever wanted or needed, despite my emotionally-detached and unintentional aloof demeanor.
5. I don't feel the need to prove anything to anyone.

Things I have done in my life that make me cringe:
1. New Year's Eve 2010.
2. My fashion sense, circa 1998.
3. Captain Morgan shots I can't say I have the pleasure of remembering, 22nd birthday.
4. Hot Cheetos + Grey Goose Vodka.

I declare 2010 to be the year of reflection and personal growth. It seems to be an ongoing theme for many 20-somethings this year. Do you agree? That being said, I feel it's important to discuss where I've been and where I am now to explain what I mean.

Where I was last year: First year high school teacher in South Central Los Angeles, full-time student to get my post-bac teacher credential. (Enough said.) I was probably planning Valentine's Day with my boyfriend at the time. We'd been together on-and-off (mostly on) for almost six years then, all throughout my senior year in high school and all four years in college.

Where I've been lately: My boyfriend and I ended our relationship six months ago. Suddenly, I felt like a domesticated animal released from captivity and into the wild. Single life in my twenties? Couldn't understand it but saw the need to catch up with everyone else who'd been wingin' it so long. It's like everyone spoke "single people code," a dialect rich with dating rules and implied gender roles that I'd apparently missed the memo on during my six-year sabbatical.

Where I am now: Redefining my "gray area self." I know how I am when committed to a relationship. On the other hand, I've seen how cutesy (and not to mention terrible) I can be when I'm on a mission to get what I want from whomever I want. Seeing both extremes, I'm ready to get back to who I am and who I want to become in the next few years. That is--confident? Yes. Bitchy? Only when warranted. Scratch that--assertive! Less delusional? Only when necessary. Lifelong learner and dreamer? Always!

My M.O. for this year? Daily deep and meaningful reflection. Accomplish personal goals, TBA. Get the idea out of my head that wearing a size zero is completely normal and is the only size I should be wearing. Lastly, have a fabulous hair day, everyday.

On a revolution,
Shopgirl.